My Story

"I need you to lose five pounds!" my coach said to me and the rest of the girl's on the High School Cross-Country team. I didn't know I was over-weight. Why do I need to lose weight? Am I fat? I didn't know it at the time, but those seven little words would make a giant impact on the next six years of my life.

I was a highly motivated 14 year old full of ambition and hope to become the best runner possible. Unfortunately, I was also an uneducated high school freshman when it came to health and fitness. I did what seemed logical; eat less + run harder = lose weight. I began cutting calories and training harder than before. This was just part of the sacrifice. A small price to pay to be the best. It all seemed to make perfect sense. Don’t eat fat. Skip meals. Check my weight. Look in the mirror. Obsess. Run harder.

I was unaware that I was headed out on the road for serious pain and destruction and I had no one holding me accountable.

After one year of struggling with my unhealthy approach to fitness I became burnt out and needed another solution. I could no longer survive on such a low caloric intake so I decided that the only solution was to binge and purge. It started out as a once-in-a-while sort of thing. And I always had a way of justifying my disorder. I told myself that as long as I didn’t do it often, I was OK.

Obviously this wasn’t the case and slowly but surely, a couple times a month, turned into a couple times a week, turned into a daily addiction. Over time, Bulimia became a way of life for me. It became my emotional outlet for everything. Yet, I was still in complete denial. I thought I had everything under control and didn’t need anyone to help me.

This went on for six years, each year worse than the year before. I obsessed about food. I was insecure. I didn't eat in front of people. I became less social. I was afraid of what people thought of me. I was an emotional wreck. My mind was a mess. My body was weak and eventually got to a point where I immediately wanted to purge anything I had eaten. I was embarrassed. I hated myself. I was unclean. But in my mind I still had everything under control. I was afraid to tell anyone because I felt like no one would understand and would think I was a horrible person.

After many years of struggling and many months of failing to get well, I finally came to a deep realization I could not get through this on my own. I needed people in my life to support me and love me in order for me to heal. I wanted to be healthy and normal again. I didn't want to be scared anymore. I finally stopped living in denial. I wanted my life back so I finally broke down and told my family and close friends about my disorder. It was one of the hardest and most humbling things I have ever done, but it brought me a sense of freedom that I hadn’t felt in years. I was no longer hiding and knew I had people to support me.

I started taking steps towards a healthy life. I got a mentor who had similar life experiences and struggles in her own past. She helped immensely. She cared about me. She wanted to help me get well. We went through a 12 step book together called “12 Steps to a Spiritual Journey”. It was not a quick fix and I really struggled during that time. I thought that if I just confessed, and got a mentor to help me I would be healed, but I soon realized that was unrealistic. It took 6 years to become deeply rooted in this behavior. There would be no quick fix to undoing what I’d done. It was going to take time and support to dismantle this destructive behavior.

I kept failing over and over again, but one of the most life changing things my mentor taught me was that failing is OK. I needed to allow myself room for failure or I would just keep falling back into deep disappointment and pain. She was so right. And even though I continued to fail, I knew I had people who loved me unconditionally to pick me back up. I was not alone anymore in my struggle. I had help now; people in my life keeping me accountable.

I started taking nutrition classes in college and became fascinated with the human body. I decided to major in Kinesiology. I started seeing an Applied Kinesiologist (a holistic approach to health) and learned so much about nutrition and the physical and emotional effects food has on the body. I learned about trigger foods and how they can contribute to my Bulimia. The more I learned about nutrition and the body, the more I realized there was hope for my disorder. I loved learning about how to live a healthy lifestyle and eat the foods our bodies where designed to eat.

Being aware that my addictive behavior could always return, I knew I had to make a life change.

My life was changing and with growing knowledge and the help of positive people in my life I was finally able to heal! I have been healthy for over 7 years. I eat and exercise the right way, the healthy way. I have learned to avoid the foods that trigger a negative response in my body and eat foods that are beneficial to me.

I am now healthier, happier, and more fit than ever before and so grateful to have people in my life who continue to support me and keep me accountable. It is my passion now to help others in their pursuit of a healthy life-style. I continually educate myself on fitness and nutrition and through my story, strive to help others on their journey and hopefully avoid some of the pitfalls that I went through. If only I had this knowledge years ago, I could have avoided so much pain, heart-ache, shame physical illness and disappointment. And, oh yeah....I would have been a much better runner!!!!


“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Pause for Reflection

A few weekends ago, we went on our Mt. Whitney trip. We had been planning the trip for a while in our heads, and were very excited to summit the highest peak in the lower 48.

The hike started dark and early on the lower switchbacks of the Mt. Whitney trail. We all weighed our packs just for fun. They were filled with food, water, clothes, and of course our trusty (and never before used) ice axes and crampons. We were ready.

We started up at a brisk pace in anticipation of the tough and snowy trail conditions on the horizon. Before we knew it, we were trekking through the snow, with icicles hanging on the side of the trail. All the snow allowed us to choose our own path and cut off some of the switchbacks.

Soon enough we passed our first alpine lake, completely frozen over, and continued to ascend. It got harder and harder, as the air thinned out, and it became a process of one slow step at a time. The trick was to find a slow, sustainable pace that wouldn't leave you winded and gasping for air (kind of like running).

On the upper slopes, the ice axes were out, but mainly for balance. Everyone seemed to be feeling good, and we were making good time. Looming in the distance, we could see the 99 switchbacks, although with all the snow, it was just one steep hill. It didn't seem that far away, but it sure took a while to get to the base.


So, there we stood, eye to eye with the 99 switchbacks. The line of footprints went straight up, and led to Trail Crest. Ever so slowly, we worked our way up to the crest. One grueling step at a time until there were no more to be taken. We weren't at the summit, there are 2 more miles of trail to get there, but where we were was amazing!

We didn't end up making it to the summit on that day. And although, we really wanted to check Mt. Whitney off of our list, how could we be disappointed with what we had done that day? Speaking for myself, looking out from Trail Crest that day was probably the single most beautiful and awe-inspiring moment I have ever experienced. It was incredible to look back at where we came from. Seeing our footprints winding up the snow covered mountain was a great reminder of all the hard work and patience it took to get to that point, and that was something to be celebrated (which it later was... with beer and burgers).

Often times, we get too focused on reaching a particular destination, or big picture goal. Big picture goals are important, they keep us on track, they keep us focused, but if all you can think about is your ultimate goal, than you might be missing the point.

Too often when we're focusing on one foot in front of the next, and we don't realize how far we've come until we stop, reflect and look back.


We see progress and improvements everyday in all of you, and are excited every time a new barrier is broken. Whether that barrier be running your first marathon, running your first Papa loop, or making it to class 3 times a week instead of 2.

We feel so fortunate to have such a great and inspiring group of individuals in Rough-Fit, and get so pumped seeing all of your success, but it's YOU that should be excited!

So, take a moment and reflect. How far have you come? And where are you headed next?

Circle of Support

As many of you know, a couple weekends ago I had one of my big races for the year at Wildflower (near Paso Robles). It turned out to be a great weekend, full of fun and a pretty decent race result. But it was a solid reminder of how important it is to have a strong support team around you.

We all run into tough times and go through struggles in life. During these moments, our discipline, will power and perseverance is tested. Sometimes we can get through it on our own, but for those times that it’s just too much, you need to have a great support system around you.

I had been looking forward to this race for months and had a great plan to be fit and on form come race day. But as luck would have it, all of my planning went out the window. With all of the changes happening at Rough-Fit, I wasn’t getting the sleep I needed, and my training runs, rides and swims were taking a back seat to everything that was going on. I was very excited about everything Rough-Fit related, but the early mornings and extra work were a big change.

When it was time to leave for the race, I was quite stressed. I had doubts, I couldn’t focus and it seemed like everything was out of control and the odds were stacking up against me having a good race that weekend. Lucky for me, I have a great support team. Going up to the race with me, I had my close friend and new business partner, Jenni, some friends from college and the coworkers from the triathlon store that I work for.

My team calmed me down, refocused my energy and made sure I got to the race safely with all of the necessary equipment. By race morning, I felt much better. Focused, rested and ready to race hard! It wasn’t the smoothest morning, with a few mechanical issues to attend to, but I made it to the start line with lots of encouraging words and thoughts.

The race didn’t go quite as planned. The swim was slower than expected, and the conditions made for a tough day, but I couldn’t let my support crew down. I had shared my goals for the race with them, so I was kept accountable for my efforts. That accountability led to perseverance throughout the entire race, even when I felt like giving up and walking.

The support I built around myself for the race not only kept me focused, on track, and accountable for my efforts on the race course, but it also ensured that I had a wonderful and fun time throughout the whole process. I crossed the finish line knowing I raced hard and gave it my all. I could be proud of my efforts and had great company around me to share in the joy.

We all need the support of our friends and family from time to time, and having that support around us makes it so much easier to stay on track. It keeps us accountable and pushes us to do things we never thought we could do. We have our own little built in system of support at Rough-Fit, with the trainers and all your classmates keeping you accountable each morning (or evening). So remember that we can all help each other by working together, cheering each other on, and being there to share in all of the great accomplishments.